In the apartment building where I’m currently residing we learned of a fatality. The news rippled quickly regarding the circumstances of this fateful night when the living were shockingly presented with the reality of death. Rumours circulated. In the hallways, lobby and elevators, strangers with lowered heads talked to other strangers seeking solace, consolation or reassurance. Those who knew the deceased sheltered in place. Mortality strikes fear in us all.
In conversation with my mother-in-law, we shared a phrase, ‘there but for the grace of God go I’ as if to count ourselves lucky. I thought about the word Fate, all of that day and the next. I thought of the ways in which we tempt fate, by being reckless, careless or selfish. I wondered how this fit within the context of Covid vaccinations. I mused over ways we wish for things to come true and then, when they do, how we might profit from those wishes. A belief in Fate can be a form of wish making. Taken in a positive way Fate can be a nice idea, as long as you don’t mind giving up free will. Fatalists may convince themselves that Fate is on their side, at least until it’s not. Gamblers hold on to Fate’s hand, tightly.
When my first wife was dying of cancer, I never wanted her to die, yet I wished for an end to the suffering. I could never say that Fate dealt her a bad hand nor could I weaken her significance in my life by suggesting that shit happens. Sometimes the wishes we make will be granted to us in a form we hadn’t expected. Hence we have the phrase ‘be careful what you wish for’. Long ago, when my mom spoke those words I felt menaced as if she might know something I didn’t about my future. Several years ago the book ‘Secret’ popularized the notion that you could manifest your destiny. All a person needed was a vision board, or some such graphic depiction, for Fate to be firmly in your control. Fatalism tamed.
People often talk about being fated: being in the right place and at the right time. It is the most dramatic way to describe the meeting of a true love, from across a crowded room, we just happened upon each other. It was kismet. Fortune shone on us. Love came along and tapped us on the shoulder on a beautiful starlit night. Could it be magic?
Shakespeare wrote much about Fate: “Men at some time are masters of their fates.” As did the writers for the Star Wars films giving us the meme, ‘may the Force be with you’. As much as we’d like to, we cannot know what the fates will allow. Our destiny awaits, yet it is impossible to understand it as Fate, until it happens. I have wished for fame, fortune, happiness (the big three) only to discover them in smaller measure. Yet I feel as fortunate as a king.