Re: Us

I have a good sense of who I am. I’m also curious how other people go about life. Sharing and learning with another individual allows for something new to happen. No not another fleshy thing! I’m referring to a concept: The idea of Us. It’s such a small word yet packed with meaning. When two or more people (or tribes, or communities, or nations even) find a commonality, then an Us is born.

A new relationship has to make room for the individual differences. Eden-like is that first blush of association when souls recognize they are better together than alone. Hopefully the Me and You part is already well established. A union will be a work in progress. We’ve all seen power couples who feed off each other’s energy. They appear united in spirit, I think because they value the We that they have become. Yet complications arise testing the concept of Us: Perhaps a baby enters the picture, or an elder needs to join the expanding collective. In-laws can mess with the dynamic. Long surviving marriages can be a testament to the importance of Us, but with a caveat; Both partners must contribute to the success. One, providing nothing to the bond, undermines the structure. One, doing all the heavy lifting, will sacrifice themself irrevocably.

My Garden of Us will sound as naive as advocating for world peace. Which really is just another way of saying the same thing. Regarding this word Us, I could be talking about the U.S. of America. Right now, those fifty states are very disunited. Their union is in jeopardy. Some historians might point out that this particular republic has been floundering since 1776. I have a hard time getting around the fact the U.S. waged civil war over who had the right to own slaves! If the current 340 million population were considered a family then I’d recommend counselling, a divorce might be in order, or at least a call to Children’s Aid. Every U.S. election in my memory has created more of a gulf between parties than the election before (oops, did I mention Gulf!). The world has a lot to lose if trumpism is allowed to flourish. Really now. What will become of us?

One of my favourite memories of family time was gathering around a campfire. We listened to individual stories while we poked at the flaming logs. Others might join us to add diversity to our collective. When the fire went out, things got cold so we retreated to our separate places, but I believe we kept the fire that symbolized us, inside us. Our gratitude for being together was a form of cement. Through science we have learned that atoms can form bonds, creating molecular clusters of astounding resilience, flexibility, and utility. Love, Grace, or Joy are not factual things like scientific principles, yet I believe they are among the elemental units that enable us to experience things together. Our DNA confirms that we are one humanity. Our systems of congress must respect that reality, or we may perish as a species.

Re: Prime

Any Star Trek fan will tell you that The Prime Directive is the primary consideration whenever contact is made with another life. I’m priming the metaphorical pump here, when I suggest that this fictional Star Fleet Regulation is relevant to current discussions surrounding colonialism. In our real world of the late 15th century, explorers were faced with similar moral dilemmas yet were emboldened by The Doctrine of Discovery to claim whatever land was found for God and Crown. Aboriginal land was considered prime real estate by powerful naval nations. The expectation was to expand the Empire, fully sanctioned by the powers of the day. Living things, including fellow humans, were either considered in the way or resources to be used by the conquerors. Settlement and extraction of wealth was the prime directive. Throughout the world there is currently a renewed accounting of the results of this maniacal arrogance.

It’s enough to make anyone want to give a Primal Scream. Countless millions of lives lost like so much prime beef: Disregarding, dismissing and debasing fellow humans by renaming them as Primitive. Disgusting! Impossible to escape from the reality of man’s inhumanity to man. Seemingly impossible to reconcile the idea of human progress with all that degradation. Information we were fed in schools is sanitized through the lens of the victor. In my experience, public schools in the 1950s and sixties did not promote diverse historical viewpoints. In the countries affiliated with the British Empire, the pink area on old maps, we were taught to honour the establishment of the colonies. We traced maps and learned of benevolent conquest. We wrote essays about the captains of tiny ships who sailed through impossibly vast seas. Between the lines researchers can reveal grasping power hungry individuals, corrupt systems, antithetical religions and evil societies. The injustice has always been there and new evidence of it is being brought to light everyday. Truth is being spoken. Secrets are being exposed. Lies are being challenged. Apologies are being made. There is a demand to have these errors acknowledged by current governments.

And still the primal patterns of power and racism continue.

I dream of a world where we are united by discovery and share what we find. Our planet suffers due to our selfishness. As shepherds of the Earth we are failing to unite around a common healthy cause. Primarily we seek to serve our own needs regardless of the consequence to others. It seems a grim reality, an inconvenient truth even, that our primary function is to satisfy our urges. I’d like to believe that science has the answer: a Unified Theory of Everything as envisioned by the likes of Stephen Hawking. I wonder if there is a place of thought where it’s understood that individuals are like prime numbers sometimes and composite numbers at other times. Yet it’s impossible to dream up an appropriate metaphor for what it means to be human. We don’t fit into Number Theory. We have names. We are far from being mathematically perfect. We are all united by life.

Re: One

I never thought I would admit this in public, but I’ve been lonely. I have been separated from my one and only, my best friend, my lover, my wife for more than 200 days now. She is on an important mission and I am supporting her as best I can from afar. The oneness that I have experienced with her is not one sided as she too feels the great chasm that comes about when you are not with the one you love. We both endeavour to be strong while acknowledging that One is clearly the loneliest number. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYzY7-V5vxY

There are so many individual ones in the world: Close to 8 billion singular human entities. On the spectrum of ‘personalities who need another in their lives’ the range might be from hermit types to polyamorous groupies. I have felt more in common with the hermit; sequestering myself from the massive throngs of civilization. That is one of the reasons why my recent feelings of loneliness are somewhat confusing. I do really appreciate my own company, that was tested in me as a child. I know I can confidently go it alone but I also know I don’t want to. I am Stoic. I am Vulcan. I take pride in the notion that I can control my desire to be one with the collective. I am Adam yet I must have my Eve.

I have used the power of oneness many times in my life and have discovered that being One doesn’t necessarily mean that you are alone. I have had many glimpses of what it means to be one in the spirit. I have learned to trust. Those 8 billion collective consciouses can be a powerful support mechanism when most needed, like after trauma. Some believe that even dead souls can act as guides. So while loneliness may occasionally tear at my heart, I remind myself that I am never really alone.

I admit also to being a romantic and a great believer in finding ‘the one’. I was lucky to find my Juliet in university. She accepted my formal proposal of marriage. Her family gave their blessing. We had the wedding service where two candles were extinguished and one candle was lit. We had many adventures, raised three boys together and approached middle age with confidence in our bond. When she died I felt lost and alone. I was now one, where I had been two and I wondered just what I might do with the rest of my life. Imagine how blessed I felt when I found my Anne. She too had known loneliness and found ways to appreciate being alone. Our meeting was one for the ages. We couldn’t believe our luck. Now we two could design our own Green Gables.

My wife and I celebrate in the oneness of our combined families. Our grandchildren are learning to count and always start with One. It is the first number. It’s where we all begin and where we all end.