Tag: goals

Re: Ambition

Folks who live to their nineties may have stood the test of time but if our only ambition is longevity then I’ve got to wonder about the meaning of life. Now I can say I’ve ever liked being tested, so maybe that’s why I have little ambition. Ambition enough to think on the word itself, I suppose, as long the thought is my own volition.

People enter competitions to win something. Our culture pushes us to strive, to seek new levels of expertise, or at least to earn a paycheque. Personal desire sometimes trumps the good of the collective, sometimes that individual drive can create new worlds for others who watch in awe. Those who compete at a global level in sport are in the news with the FIFA world Cup. I used to play soccer in grade school but would never have aspired to play football as it is practised by millions around the world. I have admiration and respect for those who follow a singular dream of winning medals, cups, trophies, or esteem. Fame and fortune can be the driver of ambition but I’m slightly afraid of those goals.

In my teaching career many principals and other educational executives flattered me with the proposition that I should move up the career ladder. I enjoyed the few accolades I got but I never felt I worked especially hard to get them. I felt like I was just being me, helping kids, wherever I could, to be confident in their abilities. I never enjoyed being a coach-like figure, preferring to be sort of a co-conspirator. I wanted my students to thirst for the wonder of life, not necessarily to strive for a societal expectation of achievement.

I entered contests for fun, not really to see if I could beat anyone but for the joy of group engagement. I write for the love of it, but have been hurt when I’ve been encouraged to send in a story or poem, only to be told I didn’t win. I lack the courage it takes to be ambitious. When it comes down to it, I don’t like the feeling that I’m being tested. After the test is handed in there is the inevitable grade. I worry how I will be judged. When I have put myself out there, on committees for example, I somehow mustered the personal will to make a difference due to my presence. I’ve been patted on the back, and also talked about behind that same back. It’s true that you can’t please everyone.

Desire is related to ambition. My desire to be a good husband and father has been with me for most of my life. I hope I’ve been judged well in that department. That desire probably came from wanting a satisfactory home life compared to the perils I navigated in my childhood. Trials are sent to test us. An ambitious person seeks them out. I would rather make my mind up when opportunity knocks.

If that makes me a scaredy cat then meow on me.

Re: Triage

I like words that are used between languages. There must be no borders with communication. Triage is a French word that means to separate out, or to sort. I think sorting is a good thing, in a medical context or any other. When I sort my feelings I’m better able to communicate my thoughts. I can see what is most important after even a bit of reflection and attend to it first, with a plan of action.

My wife is a nurse. She brings her training, attention to detail, and compassion to various situations throughout our days together. We’ve started watching the television series called The Pitt. This is one manic show! Where I find the director’s techniques fascinating, my bride gets pumped by her familiarity with the emergency room intensity. I’m left panting by an episode’s end, and she is energized. We have fun deconstructing the scenes with me asking tons of questions about accuracy and medical procedures.

In the heat of a hospital emergency room it must take everything you’ve got to decide who is the most in need of attention. All your personal prejudices must be back-filed. You would have to suspend your personal opinions. Focussing on the goal of saving lives is paramount. But I marvel how anyone can keep their heart from interfering with their head when it comes to making choices. In most situations, I must first consider my heart, before allowing logic to enter.

Our planet needs a triage event. We need to decide what is important on this home called Earth. There is plenty to indicate our globe is sick and needs attention. I’ll imagine Climate Change as a first priority. Back in 1970, the USA sponsored the first Earth Day, we got a flag and a thumbs up for concern over lack of environmental awareness. In 1979 the first World Climate Conference was arranged by the United Nations, by then we had lots of data showing we knew that things were going to get gnarly on our planet. Still, we left the patient in the waiting room. By 1995, with things not decided, The Conference of Parties (COP) held the first of 29 (and counting) annual conferences to get a U.N. consensus on how to help an exhausted planet. I read the news today (Oh Boy!) and it’s not looking good as data shows the melting glaciers do not have long to exist. The patient is going to die before getting a bed for continuing care. Our Earth has been left in the metaphorical hospital hallway to await its fate while we capitalist, nationalistic humans worry over who is going to pay the bill.

It comes down to priorities. Setting goals is hard in business, harder in personal life and hardest when it comes to international solidarity. It’s easier for me to think of the planet as I do my partner. She will always come first; my life and happiness depend on her health. Once her needs are met I can move on to other matters.

That’s life.

Re: Devote

Many English words are so close in meaning that they often require explanation after use. For example, I have an issue with the word loyalty yet I have no problem saying I am devoted to someone or something. Faith, Loyalty and Devotion are often linked as closely as siblings in the Etymological family. The latter suggests to me an action of giving one’s self over, sometimes completely and with willful intent. I am devoted to my wife, I am faithful as a result of that intention, yet my loyalty has limits. That can seem strange yet in context it’s consistent.

The conundrum of these three value words is well expressed in the love song, ‘Hopelessly Devoted To You’ made famous by Olivia Newton John in the film Grease. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i52mlmJtyJQ . In my defining way the word Devoted in this song is more like Loyalty. From my past experience, when the head is separated from the heart, decisions are fraught with danger. In my lexicon Loyalty, certainly the blind type, is foolish. I have faith that when both my emotion and my thinking are involved I can permit clear sighted devotion.

Having a career requires a certain level of devotion. Those training to be Olympic athletes would need the highest level of devotion to their goal. Equally, someone who wishes to master a musical instrument might say they are devoted to their art. I have worked with some teachers who exhibited this extreme level of devotion. It’s inspiring to see that high level of passion or devotion. There are many examples in history of religious figures who followed a calling and thus devoted their lives to a cause. That level of devotion moves too close to zealotry for my liking. A devout person I am not, for that means a willingness to forsake all else in an adherence to a defined path.

Whether in religious practise or other areas of a full life, I avoid thinking of myself as a devotee. Likewise I resist calling myself a fan of something or someone. Both terms suggest a slavery to a cause, or an overwhelming commitment to an idea. When we get ourselves so wrapped up in something that we lose sight of our original intention, we can move across the border from carefully considered thought into hopeless obsession.

During my church years I met many who espoused the practice of daily devotions. Some on the zealot end of the spectrum would rise at the same time each morning to follow their routine. Others saw value in spending a few minutes each day with an activity that centred their busy minds. These activities don’t need to be of a religious or scriptural nature. I have found reward in a singular moment gazing intently at a bee as it wiggles through a cluster of sweet flowers. Or, devoting time to listen to what my wife has to say when she returns home from an adventure makes me feel closer to her and brings me the peace I desire.