Trauma is talked about today. Film stars use the word, there are whole novels written on the subject, most people would be able to say what the acronym PTSD stands for, regular folk are opening up about the role trauma has played in their own lives. We sometimes define ourselves by it, and this may be a problem to navigating our future selves.
On the living room floor my wife displayed a chunk of tree limb that my father once carved a face into. I gaze at it sometimes and remember how he died in Portugal in 1997. He was alone on the street in the early morning, getting a take-out coffee for my mother. I wasn’t there. On the sidewalk where he fell, few people were present. He died alone. When this news was delivered to me in Canada, I only felt surprise. 30 years later I know I’m still traumatized.
I’ve enjoyed the message of Gurdeep Pandher, The Dancing Philosopher (my title), whose philosophy promotes joy, hope, and positivity. I respect the way he suggests that sorrow, pain, and anxiety can be part of the human condition. Pandher’s teaching helps me understand that all emotions are valid. Trauma cannot be ranked because then some experiences might be trivialized. This idea is also explored in the documentary film ‘The Case Against Cosby’, especially in the powerful scenes where victim Andrea Constand works with trauma specialist Dr. Gabor Maté.
Overcoming trauma is different for every person. Like grief, there is no timetable or standard to navigating the deeper wounds of our lives. We don’t rise above our traumatization, but we learn to accommodate it. Bessel Van Der Kolk is a professional of note on this topic. His immensely popular book, The Body Keeps the Score, makes strong connections between the body, mind, feeling, and spirit that can lead the reader, who is suffering, towards a path to healing. Kolk confirms for me that, “We belong to an extremely resilient species.”
When I get excited about art I think my response is therapeutic. I recognize now that I wish I had spent more time with my father, feeling his joy of expression before he could no longer express that part of himself, or any part for that matter. In that moment of acknowledging my trauma I can feel myself there on that sidewalk, holding him as he takes his last breath. I tell him how grateful I am for his teachings about art.
The many sources of trauma can include death, rape, childhood abuse, military service, or bullying. I suspect no human can live without being victimized, at some point, and in some way. The accepted truth is that trauma never goes away. We find ways to deal with this deep multi-layered experience. I’m not unique in trying to understand my traumas.
My dad was a writer and I find practising this art form helps me fill in the cracks of my psyche. I have proof in my life that practising, participating, and promoting art have eased my pain.
