Tag: touch

Re: Skin

A quick wikipedia search reveals that the skin on our bodies is the largest human organ; about 15% of the total boy weight. That fact is amazing considering the lack of attention it gets in campaigns for better health. Most likely we consider the heart first. Perhaps this is valid since, once it stops beating, we are dead. But other organs come before skin in discussions too: “Did you hear, she’s got lung cancer!” “He drank so much and his liver is shot.” “I told you over and over that smoking pot would addle your brain.”

Of course we are warned to cover-up in the summer time. I’ve always loved the freedom I feel on a sandy beach. I can lay for hours basking on a towel and absorbing all that beautiful sunny warmth. The last time I went to my dermatologist for a check-up he asked if I would consider using sunscreen. He just smiled when I said, “Nah.” I have my reasons, none of them satisfactory excuses: I don’t like the feel of the SPF cream on my skin. I’ve heard that all those doses, washing off in the water, are killing the coral reefs. It’s just another cosmetic industry scam to make us buy product to line shareholders’ pockets. Anyway, I love sporting a tanned body.

In another lifetime, I must have been starved of touch, because there are days when I yearn for physical contact. In university, I learned about a study done on baby monkeys, involving two fake monkey mothers, one made of wire and holding a baby bottle of liquid nourishment, and another model without the bottle but covered in soft cloth. The study showed that the babies would prefer time on the cloth model, even at the expense of growing hungry. Modern maternity nurses are well aware of the value of skin-to-skin contact from the moment of birth. Skin hunger is a real, documented phenomenon. To crave skin is not a sin, but society has made it suggestively sexual, or perverted, no thanks to stories of flaying, like in Silence of the Lambs.

I would not describe myself as a ‘touchy-feely’ sort of guy. I’m too private a person for inclusion in a Naturist Resort, although I respect the idea that we can be free to be in our Birthday Suit. I don’t walk around with a sign printed, ‘Free Hugs’ at street corners. But I do like to hold hands, shake hands, and other wise use my hands to make contact with another. I’m happy to have found this sort of skin-ship with my life-mate. I still remember the first time she touched me, after asking permission, on my thigh. I’ve talked to others who recall their first hand-hold while walking, which awakened their longing to belong. 

Skin can be a barrier, a germ protector, or a first line of defence against disease. Skin also allows us to feel a oneness with others, even with another species. There’s a reason why pet ownership is so popular. Stroking is part of a healthy lifestyle.

Re: Massage

I like to massage my mind with quiet moments spent reading or writing. While the left side of my brain is digesting the vocabulary, the right side is creating wonderful pictures. These images in turn cross my midline and activate a basketful of homonyms, synonyms and antonyms. Crossword puzzles tease my cerebral cortex with clues that reveal facts and help me recall information that I thought was long gone.

A body massage can work in a similar way. When I get a massage I feel my cells communicate with each other. I think of the body as a whole world unto itself with transportation systems, electrical systems, support systems, security systems, waste management systems and communication systems. Your body, like the world, needs these systems to function effectively. The instant my massage therapist lays hands on me my cells become aware of each other and start processing shared knowledge. My toes are appreciated by my pelvic muscles and my ears are aware of vibrations in my intestinal tract. I see humour in this admission but the sense of oneness I feel is nonetheless profound.

I like the spelling of the word massage: It’s one letter away from message. Whether my brain or body is getting massaged, I am experiencing a state of inner communication. I am sending and receiving messages. Advertisers know this connection well and use it to sell products and/or ideas. “The medium is the message” is a phrase coined by Marshall McLuhan. I say the medium can also be a massage. We become vulnerable to suggestion and manipulation. We can be massaged into believing we need a product. We are sometimes manipulated to see a candidate in a certain way, to feel soothed by voting for someone based less on fact and more on promises.

Massage is often made fun of in the way that North Americans tend to be uncomfortable with any notion of touching. Massage is often associated with sexual experience rather than therapeutic practice. We live in a time when touch arouses suspicion. Boundaries are being declared. Consent is being redefined. Privacy issues are becoming more important as we acknowledge that almost everything in our life is being recorded. We are being massaged into believing that everything is going to be all right. Yet we have doubts. We wonder if we can trust others when we are not quiet sure if we can trust ourselves.

We need to be touched. Baby massage has been promoted for some time now as a way to help the infant relax and to strengthen the bond between parent and child. I remember how my dying mother responded to someone who massaged her head while cutting her hair. Humans respond instinctively to the warm message that a touch can provide. When I am being massaged by my trusted practitioner I can relax for a spell. In quiet contemplation I can focus on a few singular things and not run headlong into a future that is uncertain. My mind and body can feel in harmony.