Tag: loss

Re: Help

In the television series Abbot Elementary we are confronted with scenes of children streaming into a primary-school classroom full of energy for learning. The creators of this excellent show are also helping the viewer to understand maybe he/she/they didn’t learn all the lessons to be discovered when they were young. After the first season I realized I was being taught; that help comes in different packages, you can’t judge a book by its cover, and yes, you can teach old dogs new tricks.

Helpfulness is a wondrous value that can be taught, just ask any Kindergarten teacher. It starts with filtering our language so that helpful comments emerge rather than sarcasm. We grow as we extend helping hands to those in need. We can be curious in new situations rather than jumping to conclusions, then saying something discourteous. We don’t need to gain superiority by putdowns: It’s better to Boost than Boast. Anyone who has felt helpless (and that must be all of us at one time or another), knows how great it feels to be given assistance.

I believe that when you ask, you shall receive. I’m not bent in a religious manner, yet I understand the power behind prayer, even though I wouldn’t call a request for help a prayer, but you may think differently after I tell you the story of the lost glove. This particular glove had personal meaning, so when it went missing during a shopping trip with my wife, a search was initiated. The parking lot was scanned, the interior of our car searched, then my wife went back to the store to see what help might be found. As I stood leaning against the back of the car, I relaxed into wishful thinking. I honestly asked the forces-that-be to direct my thoughts and my senses. My eyes fell upon some early crocus bursting through the edge of the pavement by the sidewalk nearby. As I celebrated the wonder of spring –– the glove! There it was, just lying inches away from that flower, yet far away from any transit my wife or I had taken, as though it had been purposefully placed as a gift.

‘How can I help?’ Is the best question I hear whenever I am out in the big wide world. It can diffuse a bad situation or help me find the right aisle when I’m wandering aimlessly around a mall. As a teacher I know the power of that question to release a student’s anxiety or suffering. I used to make parents laugh when I observed that if schools were factories we wouldn’t make widgets, but smiles: Smiles of joy found by learning in a safe environment. All Helping Professionals use skills of empathy to reconstruct souls damaged by life. The help provided may be quick like a band-aid, or the answer to a life-long personal conundrum. As individuals we have a similar natural talent to care for each other. 

To receive help, the first step is to ask for it. The gift will be there, waiting.

Re: Wallet

I’ve never lost my wallet, but I’ve thought I had lost it many times. I check for the presence of my wallet frequently, sometimes obsessively. When I’m on holiday it is always on my mind. I’ll pat my back pocket and check the drawers or shelf of the room I’m staying in. When I am secure in knowing its presence I’m calmer. On occasion, I may even kiss it for luck to ward off evil spirits.

My son lost his wallet while moving his belongings to a new apartment. In the busy-ness of loading and packing he put it gingerly on the car’s rooftop. The obvious happened when he got behind the wheel and merged with other traffic. The shock of picturing what he had done wrong must have been numbing. He went back through his trip, in a futile attempt to rescue his wallet from the road where it must have fallen but to no avail. His credit cards had to be cancelled but luckily he had only $40 in cash. A couple of week’s later he got a call from his local police department saying the wallet had been turned in! Much to his amazement the wallet’s contents were intact! When he shared this story with me, we both commented on how our faith in humanity had been enhanced by this simple act of unselfishness.

Some folk say the cell phone has become their most highly valued object to carry everywhere. When I told others of my son’s mishap they related by saying how they had lost their phones and had been bereft as to what to do when a record of their identity had gone AWOL. Indeed, when you consider what is loaded onto our devices they become a veritable code to who we are in this world. Comparatively, the wallet with its old timey paper access cards, wrinkled photos, bills, receipts, bus passes, loyalty IDs & embossed business cards becomes a relic you might see on display at a museum of not so modern culture.

I made my first wallet when I was nine from a craft kit I got for Christmas. It came with pre-cut leather and strands of gimp plastic lace. When constructed it looked a bit like a folding moccasin with a side gash for paper cash (I never had any of that), a snap pouch for coins and a cool slit for bus tickets. There was a single clear plastic window under which I put my library card and my swimming pool registration card. With this wallet, fully loaded, I could get access anywhere.

Throughout my life other wallets have not lived up to the level of self confidence given to me by that first homemade beauty. However I still choose each new wallet by giving it a smell test. The leather scent knocks me out. A wallet has always given me a sense of importance. It contains a bit of my past and present and some assurance that my future is secured. A cell phone seems cold in comparison.