A writer friend tried to provide me with a definition of this word. We both agreed that, like the word love, trying to pin down the meaning of fairness is often subjective. I can’t believe I haven’t written with this word Fair as a focus before this moment. The word Fair is part of every discussion bordering on disagreement. Children will believe that life is not fair, news stations will report fair or foul weather, and yes we still may be lucky enough to go to a fairgrounds for some country-style amusements.
I watched my finances closely when I was a young father. My three sons may tell you stories of being short-changed. I remember a ritual involving a single chocolate bar (a treat to be respected). The rule was that the bar would be shared, and the one cutting the confection into three parts would be the last one to receive a piece. The one doing the cutting (sometimes it would involve precision steps using a ruler) would be random and the air was always tense. My lads are well into adulthood now, so I get to watch how they demonstrate fairness with their youngsters. I have yet to see them use a Gordian Knot style strategy.
The situation of inequity in the USA under POTUS 45&47 makes me scream unfairness, in the same way that The Donald uses all-caps in his messages on Truth Social. I’ve lost count of the number of times I have thrown my newspaper down in disgust when I read that what is fair for some is not always fair for others. Prejudicial thinking can lead us to decide that the fair-haired are more deserving than brunettes. Fairness must not be subjective, but it always is. If all of life is just not fair, then I think I shall never get over it. I argue in my head that Fair should be like Gravity: A singular truth that exists or not.
My word loving friend equated fairness with justice. I continue to wonder if the two concepts are equal in experience or in tone. Justice comes from law, that much seems clear to me. Fairness seems more arbitrary. The words, ’To be fair’ can often lead to a message of conciliation, contrition, or an outright withdrawal of your previous stubborn stand. The words, ’Let’s be fair here’ (as potentially dangerous as ‘Calm Down’) is another attempt to assuage fears, or buy time from the arguing parties. I just don’t want to believe that all is fair in love and war. Nonsense!
Which leaves me wandering a fairground of memory and possibility. Last time I went I had hoped to rekindle a childhood joy of the CNE in Toronto. I remembered all the choices arranged before me: games of chance, free food, cheap rides, trained animals, and pavilions boasting a bright future. In the sense that country fairs are open to all, they could be a model for what’s fair: unrestricted access regardless of race, colour, or creed. I’m fairly sure that would make a better world.
Catch My Drift? 